2017 01 Stephen Duncan "Forging an Equal Partnership in Marriage" part 1

Monday
830-925AM

MARB 222 Stephen F. Duncan

Forging an Equal Partnership in Marriage, Part 1

Priesthood is gender free

 Recommended reading:  

Covenant Hearts

by Bruce Hafen, 2005 Equal partnership

From Hafen's book: 

1.  Traditional Christian dominant husband subordinate wife

(this is women's fair punishment)

2.  Modern, emancipating  (Neo feminism)

                Now incorporating family (neither  H or W should be" held down")

                family and career possibilities

                independence and economy considered  ideal

3.  Restored gospel
                Interdependent, synergistic, , unity,

                1 Corinthians 11:11 (Neither is the man without the woman in the Lord)

Neither Husband or Wife are to OBEY each other

Abraham hearkened to the counsel of his wife.

EZER = divine

rather than
Gen 3:16

Adam is to rule over Eve

President Spencer W. Kimball says he doesn't like

"Rule over".  He would replace it with "Rule with"

different, refreshing context

3 areas
1. Child care

                 Co parenting
                Parenting together change diapers pick up spills

                Nephi: 
                Says liken to ourselves

2.  Domestic work

                seasonal

                occasional Routine
                laundry
                do dishes

WHO Does more?

3.  Decision making

                PEW Research,  University of Michigan

                Bureau of labor statistics 2011
                Wall Street Journal

Boyd K. Packer: 

Successful Marriage and Families by Hudson and Miller, Alan Hawkins

Gordon B. Hinckley, spoke twenty times about violence
Benefits:

Power and control, not using against one another

Barriers:  misinterpretation of temple covenants, laziness

Expectations about when things need done

W-Bear children
H-bigger, stronger

Place obstacles in his way

Gate keeping:  "Oh, don't throw him up in the air!" 

21% working mothers gate keep

Both parents may gate keep

GATEKEEPING:

"I have total responsibility over this task"

Hidden source of conflict

"That really hurts my feeling

when you ask me to do something and just do it yourself."

No one likes to be "graded" BYU real people, real answers,

Frandsen Video:
'Diapers, Dishes, Home owner associations

"In the end we have each other"

less criticism = more involvement

let go.

Elder Robbins:
Elder Boyd K. Packer: True doctrine understood changes behavior

Becoming  knit in the doctrine
allows us to become powerful forces for change.

Real families- real answers
-
BUU television (real family)
Dr. Scott Stanley Univ. of Denver participated
BYU TV. still on website

Anger- Elder Robbins, 1998 April General Conference
(Brother Duncan shares how this talk he studied extensively)

specific strategies
accepting influence

monitoring power processes

workshop